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"We are all guilty of something economists call 'passive decision-making,' which just means defaulting to the easy option," says Jenny Anderson, coauthor of . Whatever the decision, both people have to be part of the decision to do it and then figure out what needs to be done to keep the system humming." When you need to ask your partner for something that could be misconstrued as nagging, keep the request at three sentences—max. And when we think we are losing, we fight like there is no tomorrow to try to win," says Anderson."Couples need to make an active plan about how they will manage their money: Combine it? "The art of being assertive without coming off as aggressive lies in being succinct and using a warm tone of voice and body language," says Bowman. You might even rest your hand on his thigh as you say, "Honey, the house is a mess and I am exhausted. "It happens when couples talk about hot-button issues like sex, housework, money or the kids. Do whatever you need to do to get sick and tired of them," says Bowman. Whether you have study hall together or live together, handwritten notes are personal touches in today’s highly digital world. Not doing them if you live together can create tension, and doing them can create unfair expectations. Help each other with chores and other necessary, if banal, activities — cooking, cleaning, re-organizing, etc. "Of the many forms of couple intimacy—a smile across a room, a kiss, a touch—sex has the potential to be the most powerful positive physical experience most of us enjoy," says Joel D. Overconfidence can lead to complacency, which is not good for any relationship. When did he feed the cat because the smell of cat food makes you want to hurl? "The funeral fantasy will help you remember to appreciate your spouse." Many people stay in troubled marriages because they believe they have no other choice.Block, Ph D, coauthor of It's time to set some bad memories on fire. Sometimes hanging on to those "Do you remember the time you did such and such? According to Anderson, in a survey published in August 1993 in the journal , couples who had recently applied for a marriage license were asked to estimate the average rate of divorce. "They think that they are stuck, and they blame this sensation of being stuck on their spouse.Don't find yourself in a situation where you realize that you could have done more…when it's already too late. Three of them: Do nothing and remain miserable; face your fears and try to save your marriage; ask for a divorce." Choose to either be married or not. And wake up every morning and make that choice again.
But sexual encounters can also be one of the quickest ways to reconnect and rekindle with your partner. The point is: Give yourself as long as you need to really wallow in the misery of these grudges. These grudges have lost their usefulness.'" Then take a match and burn them.
"Although you do want to marry someone you are basically compatible with, marriage has a lot less to do with marrying the right person than it has to do with doing the right things with the person you married." In other words, relationships are a constant work in progress.
To keep the happy connection that made you say "I do" in the first place—or maybe even create a newer-and-improved version—try out these 10 tips to rehab your romance.
Before you know it, there will only be a few bite-size problems left.
Money is one of the biggest stressors in a marriage. If you find you and your spouse are starting to badger each other over the bottom line, it's time to have a penny-pinching powwow. "There's a concept called 'loss aversion' in economics, which simply means we really hate to lose.